According to Midland Town Councillor Bill Gordon, Midland “needs an enema”.
Quoting a movie in an email he recently sent to members of his inner circle, Mr. Gordon felt the need to add his own tasteless touches that prompted a whistle-blower who felt it was so disturbing that they sent it to us hoping we could help expose the man behind Mr. Gordon’s community-friendly mask. So while many may be familiar with Mr. Gordon’s cultivated persona as a brave defender of law and order, truth and justice and openness and transparency, this unedited email gives us all an opportunity to decide for ourselves what type of person Gordon REALLY is behind the scenes.
———- Original Message ———-
From: Bill Gordon <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: August 31, 2019 at 8:34 PM
Subject: Re: August Update
Well good ol’ Roy has sold his house on the lake and is heading to Newmarket after having lost all his influence and control over this community. Seems our kung foo was better than his. I hope he embraces life as a grampa down there and comes to term with his defeat up here. Should we throw a farewell party for him at his former restaurant?
I will miss his brand of toxicity unless he chooses to carry on the failed MidlandCommunity.ca efforts from afar via Rogers TV.
Good riddance to an asshole (Zena that’s for you) and don’t worry about the other issues at play we will get them sorted out.
The opp should have the password soon and will undertake a lengthy and meticulous redaction of the data that should not fall into the town’s hands. Mike will get his settlement and the long overdue legal bills will get paid. I’ll deal with the players who have been instrumental in this persecution and ensure this all stays public.
As for the business of our town it continues unaffected by these shenanigans. Watch the meeting Wednesday to see what I mean.
To quote Jack Nicholson’s “joker” in the first Batman… “this town needs an enema!” and I’ve got the lube!
Happy long weekend my friends.
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